mortalityplays:

vegans making honey a bee labour issue is the funniest thing imaginable because like, you picked the one animal that has already unionised

apas-95:

the thing about italian food is that it kinda sucks when made in italy. the average italian cook is suffering under 300 different traditional family bylaws that prevent them from like, adding garlic to their sauce, or washing their vegetables or whatever. and if they were to move five kilometers away to the next town over then they’d be executed in the street for cooking it that way. when italians are released from the context of italy it’s like they’re taking off training weights. an italian cook with no limiters becomes a culinary apex predator. it’s for this reason that italian food has, outside of italy, become one of the big three cuisines, while remaining, in italy, frustratingly under-potential. it has to be this way.

magicalgirlmindcrank:

Everyday is Thursday if you’re out of touch enough

(via blackturtlefangirl)

thesituation:

irl girls are better than anime girls but anime men are better than irl men. this is objectively true

(via caffeineated-dreams)

hallucin8:

“I can see your nipples through your shirt” first of all stop being ungrateful.

(via blackturtlefangirl)

powerboobs:

up-in-my-bunghole:

powerboobs:

snotdad:

powerboobs:

reblog if you’ve never used the braincell

the what

yeah

we can use it?

i promise

(via blackturtlefangirl)

zagreus:

just need a little alone time

(via blackturtlefangirl)

catsi:

a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her, for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

(via blackturtlefangirl)

baconmancr:

m–ood:

Magical encounter while free falling.

Can you imagine being that bird? You see a big falling dot off in the distance, so you go to investigate. And it’s a human. Just, like, hanging out, in the middle of the sky. Plumbing toward earth at terminal velocity.

“Huh, that’s weird” you think to yourself.

You land on them. They seem nonplussed by their predicament.

But you’re a busy bird, you’ve got places to be. So you just fly off. Good luck, crazy human. Hope you make it.

(via dulect)

clubsprout:

how lucky do two people have to be in order to fall for each other at exactly the right time in exactly the right way

(via dulect)

(Source: yaplakal.com, via illegalaustralien)

sad–illuminati:

cobaltdays:

Me when I rode my first 13" dick

HOLY FUCK I HAVEN’T LAUGHED THIS HARD IN CENTURIES

(via dulect)